Eve of a sex change

Awareness
That I will not lose my mind
Ever
Again
Or wake up with a heart full of someone
To see
To touch
To inhale until full of fake immensity
Because feelings can be a dream in a dream
So I do not exist but pass by in the dress that my body is
and nobody cares
Not even me
Complicated assemblage of unbearable molecules
Nobody dares to love the woman in black
She just arrived in front of the main wall
The one that one has to climb
All set up a table nearby and feed on belongings
But she sees the boat now waiting for her
Beyond the fence
Ready to sail a new sea of maybes
Whilst insanity and tiredness caused by delusion travel through her veins
And memories do not really fade away
But haunt this little girl she has been hiding
No possessions
No way in
No way out
Whisper the demons with a thousand faces
The creatures who raped her
then sucked her lymph with the language of love
But the spell is now broken
Not a witch or a fairy
But an Eve who surrendered her crown to the wolves
Who charmingly devoured her soft skin
Like lovers do in real life
When boarding the vessel her limbs will tremble
The ocean will demand for tears
Reaching out for her with waves and promises
and still keeping her warm in the east of this lifetime
She can see the sun setting by the horizon
Glowing
And asking for her to come
For more of this insignificant mortal
Only worthy because in the arms of the Buddha she is